Sexual Abstinence--Commentary

Having sex is a special gift of God given to us to achieve deep intimacy and to procreate children. It has frequently become a way to seek selfish pleasure with little regard for the sex partner. Many times it is simply "sex as itch", a way of taking care of sexual desires for their own sake. In our times sexual abstinence is very challenging since our whole culture considers sex as some sort of god in itself. It is proclaimed on TV, radio, movies as sort of a gospel of happiness. It is denigrated by pornography rampant on the Internet. It is encouraged especially by current women's fashions. Just walk through your neighborhood shopping mall and see the displays of women's clothes and lingerie. They seem totally focused on arousing men's passions. And ever since the easy access of a multitude of birth control options, sex is a very tempting, apparently no risk option.

A quick read of young adults' testimony in the preceding article gives ample testimony that having sex outside of marriage isn't as tremendous as the culture and some friends would have you believe. Going with God's intention is the best option. Save sex for marriage. Then it will have the effect that God intended. It will achieve a deep bond of intimacy between marriage partners. It only creates confusion when sex outside marriage creates the lie that the partners are deeply bonded when, if fact, one or both partners have no intention of being bonded as "soul mates". I have known young adults who feel a tremendous bonding with a sex partner who feels (or denies) any such bonding. This bonding is exactly what God planned to happen through sexual intimacy. And this is why it only belongs in a marriage relationship.

Having sex should also be open to procreating children as God intended. If it is not, it will become unfulfilling and frustrated. God intended marriage to be a bonding between a man and woman and God himself. In this threefold relationship the husband and wife combine energies with God to procreate. When procreating is not a possibility, the husband and wife have excluded God from his partnership in the marriage.

Many years ago my wife and I saved sexual intimacy for marriage. It was difficult waiting through our engagement, but we managed. We decided to make God a partner in our marriage from the beginning. Our wedding invitation states: We Are One (John 17:23). Seven children, eight grandchildren, 38 years later, I am convinced that we made the right decision.  We are friends with other couples who did not save sexual intimacy for marriage. Those whose marriages survived invited God as a partner into their marriages and included him in their decisions to procreate. They also dedicated one another to their partner's salvation, becoming salvation partners. I encourage others to do the same.